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Vera )1952( Darkness. Was this death? Pain. Was there pain after death? It was sharp and harsh, piercing straight through the haze that surronded him. Voices. Retreating, returning, pressing and prodding. Silence. Darkness. The early morning sun crept across the floor, coaxing him awake again. Groaning, he moved to awareness tentatively, testing the thresholds of pain. Initial impressions were much improved, so he chanced waking up. His chest and stomach ached fiercely, but nothing like sharp incessant pains earlier. Gingerly, he opened his eyes and the headache beat softly at his temples. The room came into focus slowly. General shapes resolving themselves into detail as his eyes adjusted. He was in a hospital bed in a private room. A small chest of drawers sat at the foot of the bed, covered in magazines, a food tray and a pair of glasses. There was a chair next to it, pushed away at an angle and another, facing it as if two people in deep discussion had only recently vacated them. ~You are awake.~ A small silver head appeared in the corner of his eye. ~This is good news.~ ~Essmani, how did I get here?~ ~The man came for you. The one who first found me.~ ~Harry...are you sure?~ How would Harry have known? It was impossible. ~Yes. He came for you and took you here. And he has been here keeping us both company for many days.~ ~ How long have I been asleep?~ ~Nearly a week. My venom could only do so much. It is a great shock to the body to be near death. Some do not wake, believing themselves already dead.~ ~I did think I was dead. For a little while.~ He sat up, slowly. The world tilted, but did not spin. Leaning against the headboard, he closed his eyes wearily. ~I will tell him that you have awoken.~ ~No! Don't. I need a few more minutes before I can face him.~ ~As you wish.~ Rays of sun gathered in the corner of the room and swept outward while he gathered his thoughts and tucked in stray emotions. He truly had believed he would never see Harry again. How was he going to face him? The door opened and he caught the tail end of a conversation. "...I don't need another break." "But Harry..." And the pair stopped cold. Minerva came to him first. "Tom! You're awake! You marvelous, stupid, man! And here I thought Gryffindors were the headlong into danger type." She kissed his forehead, ignoring his expression. "I'm sorry." "You're what?" She shook her head. "It would figure that the first time I ever hear you apologize about anything and itŐs probably the first time you don't need too. You're a hero." "I can't be...I shouldn't have opened the Chamber...it was just..." "If you ever do anything that dangerous again...." The pain was laced so heavily in that usually calm voice that Minerva went to Harry's side, cautious and gentle. The older man picked up his glasses from the tray and cleaned them on the hem of his shirt. "I don't think I could do it again if I wanted. Only one basilisk to slay..." He joked weakly, only to be subdued with the dark look Minerva sent his way. Harry cleared his throat a few times, but said nothing. Minerva wavered between the two of them. "Er...,I think I should go tell the medi-wizards you're awake." She fled the room like the hounds of hell were on her heels, leaving the two men to stare at each other in silence. Tom looked away first, a dark blush of shame painting his cheeks. "Every time I think I understand, you do something I can't believe." Harry sat on the end of the bed, carefully not touching him. "To take on the basilisk...if you hadn't opened it, there might never have been anyone who could." "That's a big might. " He picked at the sheet, not looking at the other man. "And I wanted to do it." "You wanted to die." "No! Maybe. But that wasn't why. I wanted...I mean...I thought..." He gave a small cry of frustration. "Redemption? Forgiveness?" "I wanted you to be proud of me again." The words spilled out without his accord and his face went even deeper red. He was sure that his chest was tightening imperceptibly. "I made such a mess of everything and you're this stranger underneath it all. Those shields and you never would explain how you knew my mother or tell me anything about her. And I have these memories of a knife and a promise and...despite all that, all I want is your arms around me at night. Which is sick and wrong and only proves that I'm lower then any snake belly. My soul is black and my heart is perverted." "Are you finished?" Panting, he nodded and unclenched the sheet from his sweating fingers. "I am going to tell you some things. I don't know what they'll mean to you, but I think its time you know." He talked for an hour, telling him about his life, the war, his own decision to jump back in the timeline causing a split, his inability to murder the young boy and his subsequent decision to raise him with warmth and affection. Tom listened without asking a question, his mind blank and his heart racing. The implications were foreign as if this was all true of someone else, no more real then any other bed time story Harry had told him over the years. Lord Voldemort, red eyes and racial impurities...it didn't seem like him and yet, as he turned it over in his mind, how close had he come? Wasn't the act of using a potion to illicit sex without consent the act of the criminal mind? And what would he have been like without Harry? Alone and embittered, would he have twisted into some festering evil shade? "That's all." Finally came and Harry stood, stretching. "You know all that I know." "Harry..." "What?" "Why did you come for me? I mean, I know how, I think. The mirror, I guess...but if all this is true, if you really thought..." "On my life, I promised, that I would always come if you needed me. It is not a promise I made lightly." "And you would have killed me if I had been raising the basilisk?" The silence was so thick that Tom's breathing threatened to become labored again. "I don't know." "If it had happened before..." "No. Never. I couldn't have killed the boy I considered my son." Finally, Tom looked up. Harry's face was completely closed down, his eyes half-shuttered though they rose to meet him. "So I really have ruined everything." He sank back under that green gaze. The familiar hand caressing his face gave him a start. "My dear boy." Dry lips whispered over his forehead. "It's time for you to go away. See the world, get away from me. Love someone else." "I cannot. There's no one else for me.. " "I donŐt accept that. Go, Tom. Live, love. " "And will you be here when I return?" "That's not in my hands..." Tom turned away and Harry sighed. "I will be." "Promise." "Tom..." "Promise me you won't leave when I'm away." "On my life, I promise. Where would I go, what world would I run to in escape? You are waiting for me in all of them. Sleep now." The command must have had a magical suggestion underneath because Tom sank into sleep without another word. When he woke in the morning, Harry was gone, leaving only Minerva to fuss over him. She filled in the gaps of the story, her own fight with Albus and what the Professor and Harry had snapped at each other. "I'm going to take up the Ministry's offer to be an ambassador." "When did they make you that offer?" "An hour after I convince them to." He flashed her one of his old, confident grins. "Will you be back?" "You can count on it." )1953( The winter was the worst, she decided. Hogwarts had been her home since she was eleven years old, except for the year of training in France between graduation and taking her job. That had been different, thrilling and invigorating. But this was lonely. Her parents had happily let her move back in and were busy planning another more illustrious career for her. But all she wanted was to be back in her school, surrounded by the ancient walls where everything made a reasonable amount of sense most of the time. Your friends and your lover were on the same side and no one was plotting against each other. "Stop it. You're a grown woman." She scolded herself. The house elf making her a midnight cup of tea looked over, concerned and she smiled weakly at it. "There is a visitor for Miss!" Vibby, her personal elf dashed up, eyes bright with excitement. "A visitor, at this hour?" "He is at the door, Miss!" "Who is it, Vibby?" She asked as she called a more appropriate outfit from her room and dressed rapidly. "Vibby is thinking Miss already knowing!" "Vibby is very observant." She said tartly, smoothing her robes and checking the hall mirror before answering the door. Ignoring the throbbing hopefulness. After all, he hadnŐt been back in England for more then a short scheduled meeting in two years. "Minerva." Her heart sank. Albus peered out at her from a bright blue over robe, his warm boots caked with snow. "What do you want?" "Please, my dear. I've come to apologize. It seems every owl I sent met with an unfortunate incident with your wards and lost their messages." "I have nothing to say to you." "Please..." And he looked so lost and cold out there in the snow that she almost gave in. "No. Tom..." "It was a regrettable course of action." He sighed. "I should have trusted your judgment of him and left well enough alone, but I never did do anything about it." "I was a tool. To get to him." "That's not true! I love you." "No you don't.." She trailed off. He had never said it to before, really. Not when it mattered. "I do. You are a vibrant, intelligent young woman, who deserves better then a manipulative old man like me. And even if you donŐt take me back, you should consider my other offer." "What other offer?" "The school wants you back, dear. And I think you should return...you're suited for the job." He stared deeply into her eyes. "If I'm what's stopping you from returning, then I'll leave, find some other work." "Oh, Albus." She leaned against the doorframe, overcome with a mix of emotions. He kept staring at her like the earnest young boy she sometimes fancied him to be. How could someone so old and so experienced still manage to look like an errant child? His nose red and his hands shaking, he could have been any first year out too long in a snow fight. "Come in then." She moved aside, letting him pass in. The door closed resolutely behind him. next part last part << |